Donald Trump at Press Conference Thursday Claims Hands are Larger than Those of Uma Thurman

Donald Trump

At his first solo public press conference since inauguration Thursday afternoon, United States president Donald Trump compared the size his hands to those of the award winning “Kill Bill” and “Pulp Fiction” actress.

Sources close to the American president say that Trump’s hands are, quote, “so big they are able to karate chop through solid wood” [… ] “so ferocious they can explode a man’s heart in five touches”.

When Alt Facts Press questioned the president on the accuracy of his statement, Trump responded “I don’t know. They’re big. My wife, Melania, says they’re yuge. Exceptionally even. She would know.”

This isn’t the first time President Trump has been known to embellish on facts. Earlier this year, he had claimed that chief strategist Steve Bannon “could never fill his shoes” due to the rationale that “his shoe size, whatever they are, look to be minimum two sizes smaller” than those of Trump. During his campaign last fall, he even went so far as to suggest his spray tan radiated an orange glimmer greater than that of Jersey Shore star, Snookie.

Exact figures of the size comparison are still undergoing examination by professional podiatrists but upon quick analysis of the two, things are not looking up for the US president on his already shaky first month at the job.

Thurman was unavailable for comment.


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